Carbon monoxide: A survivor's guide

There's a lot to know about carbon monoxide

 

Carbon monoxide suicide

Carbon monoxide suicide takes its infamous place as one of the more recognized ways of committing suicide. Its use has been shown in a number of movies.

Suicide by carbon monoxide is chosen because the toxic gas is "non-violent", has no taste, no smell, is non irritating, and can easily be accessed - usually by way of vehicle exhaust or gas oven.

Compared to other methods of suicide, death by carbon monoxide may seem like a physically clean way to leave life behind.

However, behind each suicide attempt is an amount mental and emotional distress than cannot be described. There is no way to know the circumstances each victim experiences as they come to the point where they are willing to take their life.

All suicide attempts can be seen as a cry for help and a very real effort to end personal suffering - even at the cost of one's life.

Each year there are several million attempted suicides of all kinds worldwide. A relatively small percentage of attempted suicides result in death, the majority do not.

The United States, with under 5% of the worlds population, averages 750,000 suicide attempts and 32,000 suicides a year.

Most attempted suicides are aborted, thwarted or go awry, in many cases leaving the victim [seriously] injured and physically harmed.

Injured carbon monoxide suicide survivors are a unique kind of survivor. If they are to begin a new life they must overcome two obstacles, a potentially serious carbon monoxide recovery as well as the conditions that lead them to attempt carbon monoxide suicide.

As different as these two obstacles may seem, they may in fact be more related than they appear.

For every suicide attempt there is an individual with their own set of conditions and circumstances. What they usually have in common is that they can no longer bare to endure the way they feel.

All to often depression, despair, and the emotions that lead to suicide are viewed as being psychological in origin. There is no shortage of advice like "give your head a shake...", "just snap out of it...", "appreciate what you've got...", and "get on with your life...".

However, it is [slowly] becoming more known that the dark world of depression and feelings that lead to suicide can come from a brain that is not functioning properly. Physical injury, toxicity, as well as emotional stress/trauma can seriously affect healthy brain functioning.

A healthy brain creates a healthy life. The connection between the two is much more significant than most people realize. There are also far more things than can affect healthy brain functioning than most people realize.

One or more seemly minor bangs to the head, one or more concussions, psychological trauma, toxicity, intense stress, prolonged periods of stress, or a nutritionally lacking diet can add up to a brain that is unable to function in a healthy balanced way.

Several of these "incidents" layered on top of one another can [seriously] impact healthy brain functioning and a persons life. Tragically, this is not widely known.

Usually the person contemplating suicide (as well as those close to them) are not aware that their very thoughts, feelings and behavior are being [heavily] influenced and controlled by an "unhappy brain."

Many with deep depression and the emotions that lead to suicide carry a heavy psychological burden. They feel they are "messed up", "broken" and can no longer endure when in fact their brain is not functioning properly.

Few people understand just how significantly healthy brain functioning can be impacted by life's "incidents". Many problems labelled psychological in origin may actually be brain functioning issues.

For carbon monoxide suicide attempt survivors

Information for suicide attempt suvivors and their families

Survivors of suicide fact sheet

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Your comments about carbon monoxide poisoning...

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A soldiers story
MB
I am an hardworking honest dedicated member of the usa, I served my country proudly as a member of the armed services for 20 yrs. Retired with an Honorable Discharge, I continued serving my country by meeting the love of my life, another service member who is now reaching her 20yr mark, almost 40 years dedicated to my service and her service. I have 2 wonderful kids and have been a faithful husband and awesome dad, I stopped working a few years back to be a stay at home dad, take care of the boys, will there mother was in the service. Well out of the blue she drops divorce papers on me..She controls the money in the house, hires herself a lawyer and leaves me with access to any funds to obtain my own lawyer..I scrounge up 2500 for a lawyer who was worthless, within a week of the divorce papers my lawyer used all the 2500 and we only met twice. Since I could not come up with anymore money my lawyer dumped me. Has I child I was abused severally mostly physcal abuse but it has left an emotional scar I will never lose until now....My wife has become an evil vendictive hurtfull cruel person and if the us army new how she treat me during our marriage they would bring her up on charges, her physical and mental abuse towards me was just has bad has my up bringing. why did I not leave sooner or report her..it would have destroyed her carrer and she threatened to "Kill' me several times...when I do it, death by CO poisoning, I hope someone reads this and alerts the Unitied States Army and informs them that the women in the service that are married can be just as abusive of the men. Yep even an Army Nurse Corp High Ranking Officer can be hiding a secret at home..she is the devil in disguise.

just tired
Chris from va
Im so tired of hearing about what this is going to do to the people around me!!! I am 46 and just lost the true love of my life to 7th day adventist. She claimed that she found Jesus and she said that there was no room in her life for me!:?( How sad is that, when just Christmass eve we were making love. Three days later, she was gone! My house is now going into forclosure, I have nothing to be happy about once so ever!! You people think it is so easy to get back on track, but you never been in some of our shoes!! There is NOOOO future. I to am using co2. In my truck after staying up 30 hours straight then 4 tylenol PM. Log splitter on back! Fucking new exhaust systems sucks. The tune will be Creed\'s \"One last breath\". A pack of cigarettes,a bowl of weed and my cell phone so I can call two different people to say good bye.My ex- wife who has been by my side through all this and my now seperated wife. The Seperated is the one ill call last, that way she can have the choice of being with me til the day as we always said!!LOL I plan this for Jan.27th 2012. 4:20 AM. In the deepest part of the Mts. Hope I have reception on the cell. Later all!!!

F**K IT
nameless from USA
Let me see, where do I begin? I'll go backwards. My cousin, who was the same age as me and was the closest to me, committed suicide on Dec 30th, a little over two weeks ago. We'd been out of contact for some time. This same month, prior to his death, there were two times that I almost swallowed every pill I have.

The first time was halted by a chance encounter with a homeless person. I told this person how to go on with their life. I walked away thinking I couldn't do that to myself if I knew how to keep living. The month before, the person I'd just begun dating, who moved back to the states to be with me, got hit by a car and was made invalid for "a year". 1 month prior to that, I had my heart broken for the final time by a long-time love.

Now we are in summer, where I got headbutted by a roommate who was in love with me and couldn't have me, and I am quite sure I got some brain damage from it. Early 2011 winter/spring I spent at my parent's house attending outpatient rehab therapy, which was ineffective seeing as how I am on about 6 or 7 drugs today. The reason I went home was because of a very long suicide attempt by dehydration and starvation. I was doing that because the damage I did to my social and emotional life from 2009-2010 was just too much.

Now?? My cousin is dead, he brought himself to it. And while all this has caused a distraction, having to travel, go to the funeral, come back to work.....I just want to go now. I just want to go. I'm tired and I wanna go.

breathing my last breaths
Hawkmoon
Today's world is very difficult to get by in anyway. I was married 16 years ago and bankrupted myself in my wifes custody battle over her daughter. Long story short we unjustly lost the case due to lack of funds after a 4 year battle with the court system and her ex. It was at that time I started losing my mind but was still able to cope for the most part. My wife and I had two boys after she was taken from us. I was working and barely able to make ends meet. My wife refused to work claiming we had a deal that she stay home with the kids. The pressure on me was becoming unbearable.

Two years ago on New Years day I lost my 10 year old son due to a medical problem, he died in my arms at home. Our marriage has deteriorated since then as she blames me for his death. You see i had a doctor appointment a week prior to his death and she blames me for not having our appointments switched. I didn't even think that was possible. She is still living with me and telling me how worthless I am everyday and is always talking about this new guy she met over the internet that will provide for her more than I ever could. She yells at me all the time with my 15 year old right there all the time and he believes she is telling the truth. He thinks I killed his brother as well.

I have failed in everything I've ever done in life and this is more than I can take. My mental well being has been lost for two years now. All I do anymore is sit and stare listening to the constant yelling. I'm done... I just can't take anything any longer. Only one thing left to do to escape it.

when there is no hope
aj from lodi nj
When there is constant struggle and abuse from the one who says they love you, I am miserable and do not want to do this any more, I can not understand why she wants me to suffer , I am going to end my sufferring , tomorrow, I do not want to hurt my family, but I will be much happier not being miserable every day of my life. I think I will be in a much better place where no one can hurt me anymore. I am sad to see what pain my family willl go through, But I just cant deal anymore.

Goodbye ! nice to know ya!

when there is no hope
aj from lodi nj
When there is constant struggle and abuse from the one who says they love you, I am miserable and do not want to do this any more, I can not understand why she wants me to suffer , I am going to end my sufferring , tomorrow, I do not want to hurt my family, but I will be much happier not being miserable every day of my life. I think I will be in a much better place where no one can hurt me anymore. I am sad to see what pain my family willl go through, But I just cant deal anymore.

Goodbye ! nice to know ya!

when there is no hope
aj from lodi nj
When there is constant struggle and abuse from the one who says they love you, I am miserable and do not want to do this any more, I can not understand why she wants me to suffer , I am going to end my sufferring , tomorrow, I do not want to hurt my family, but I will be much happier not being miserable every day of my life. I think I will be in a much better place where no one can hurt me anymore. I am sad to see what pain my family willl go through, But I just cant deal anymore.

Goodbye ! nice to know ya!

when there is no hope
aj from lodi nj
When there is constant struggle and abuse from the one who says they love you, I am miserable and do not want to do this any more, I can not understand why she wants me to suffer , I am going to end my sufferring , tomorrow, I do not want to hurt my family, but I will be much happier not being miserable every day of my life. I think I will be in a much better place where no one can hurt me anymore. I am sad to see what pain my family willl go through, But I just cant deal anymore.

Goodbye ! nice to know ya!

when there is no hope
aj from lodi nj
When there is constant struggle and abuse from the one who says they love you, I am miserable and do not want to do this any more, I can not understand why she wants me to suffer , I am going to end my sufferring , tomorrow, I do not want to hurt my family, but I will be much happier not being miserable every day of my life. I think I will be in a much better place where no one can hurt me anymore. I am sad to see what pain my family willl go through, But I just cant deal anymore.

Goodbye ! nice to know ya!

when there is no hope
aj from lodi nj
When there is constant struggle and abuse from the one who says they love you, I am miserable and do not want to do this any more, I can not understand why she wants me to suffer , I am going to end my sufferring , tomorrow, I do not want to hurt my family, but I will be much happier not being miserable every day of my life. I think I will be in a much better place where no one can hurt me anymore. I am sad to see what pain my family willl go through, But I just cant deal anymore.

Goodbye ! nice to know ya!

Alan from Texas
When it comes to the idea that if they cared they'd have seen it earlier... those who love you most and would give anything to help you once they understood the need are *not mind-readers.* Risk rejection and tell people. If they don't take it seriously the first time, do it again. Sometimes we're so *good* at acting. Hints sometimes fail; if the most apparently-happy person I know (through good acting, but love doesn't make me a mind-reader) says "you think suicides really go to hell?" or "you think X would be an easy/painful way to die?" I'm not going to instantly know your demons. The disease will tell you I'm one of Them and don't care, but depression, whether it's a disorder or the result of way too many bad weeks in a row (evidently, they're not that different) really does warp your lens of the world. It's been proven when you feel a certain way you more easily remember other times you've felt the same. If you feel alone for a month, you *will* retcon your life into having been alone forever. That'll make people not getting your hints, not being able to look and tell, etc. seem like the biggest slap in the face and proof positive that everyone sees you as a burden and you should go ahead and jump off a cliff. But it's wrong.

Too much to take
Carol from New England
My whole life has been pain it all started at age 2 my first memory of being sxually abused by my grandfather then mulitple persons up until age 14. 15 yr relationship ended by her choice, meet my soul mate, ruined that relationship, lived with an emotional and physically abusive woman for 5 yrs all the while realizing the mistakes i made with my soul mate. Finally left that relationship behind and reconnected with my soul mate finally happiness, peace, NO know she is pushing me away after 14months doesnt know what she wants...just too tired. The last time we separated i was going to committ suicide but made the mistake of telling friends and my love came to my aid. This time i will not tell anyone..I am a nurse so checking out should be relatively easy and I will not fail. I understand the effects it will have on my family and for that i am sorry. But i cant stand the thought of living without her and honestly my life has been full of pain and i am tired. I believe in God and freewill and no i will not be judged by him so for that i have no worries. I do believe it is better on the other side. I also look forward to seeing my wonderful loving animals that have gone before me.

Live
A caring soul
Life is hard,things go wrong.I won't preach about god here,nor will I try to change the minds of any of you wanting to die.I will only ask you to think.There are people who love all of you.I had a friend kill himself a few years ago...it was horrible.Think of your impact on others.Someone loves you.

Live
A caring soul
Life is hard,things go wrong.I won't preach about god here,nor will I try to change the minds of any of you wanting to die.I will only ask you to think.There are people who love all of you.I had a friend kill himself a few years ago...it was horrible.Think of your impact on others.Someone loves you.

I don\'t know ----...........
I\\\'m an 18 yr old guy, I go to highschool from Romania
I have had so many problems in my life, things are too much. My mom is going through depression. Hardly gets outa the house. I was adopted and first school was conneautvalley Pennsylvania, everyone there was a dirtbag. Made me feel like a loser. My so called father, Joe Varee Jr.\'s side of the family is ignorant and dumb. My moms side of the family is wanderful and caring and loving, the family u could ask for. I love my mom for what she has done for me for those 11 years I\'ve been in the USA. She got me this wanderful dog, golden retriever mix, I named him Shiloh, he had to get put down this summer. It killed me. I miss him. That\'s why I can\'t take it anymore, I never lost anything in my whole life like that. I miss my baby Shiloh. I keep crying every time I say or here his name. We got him cremated, and buried in Erie PA. Mom if you ever read this or find this. I want you to know that I love you and I want you to take care of buddy for me, I love you both

I don\'t know ----...........
I\\\'m an 18 yr old guy, I go to highschool from Romania
I have had so many problems in my life, things are too much. My mom is going through depression. Hardly gets outa the house. I was adopted and first school was conneautvalley Pennsylvania, everyone there was a dirtbag. Made me feel like a loser. My so called father, Joe Varee Jr.\'s side of the family is ignorant and dumb. My moms side of the family is wanderful and caring and loving, the family u could ask for. I love my mom for what she has done for me for those 11 years I\'ve been in the USA. She got me this wanderful dog, golden retriever mix, I named him Shiloh, he had to get put down this summer. It killed me. I miss him. That\'s why I can\'t take it anymore, I never lost anything in my whole life like that. I miss my baby Shiloh. I keep crying every time I say or here his name. We got him cremated, and buried in Erie PA. Mom if you ever read this or find this. I want you to know that I love you and I want you to take care of buddy for me, I love you both

I don\'t know ----...........
I\\\'m an 18 yr old guy, I go to highschool from Romania
I have had so many problems in my life, things are too much. My mom is going through depression. Hardly gets outa the house. I was adopted and first school was conneautvalley Pennsylvania, everyone there was a dirtbag. Made me feel like a loser. My so called father, Joe Varee Jr.\'s side of the family is ignorant and dumb. My moms side of the family is wanderful and caring and loving, the family u could ask for. I love my mom for what she has done for me for those 11 years I\'ve been in the USA. She got me this wanderful dog, golden retriever mix, I named him Shiloh, he had to get put down this summer. It killed me. I miss him. That\'s why I can\'t take it anymore, I never lost anything in my whole life like that. I miss my baby Shiloh. I keep crying every time I say or here his name. We got him cremated, and buried in Erie PA. Mom if you ever read this or find this. I want you to know that I love you and I want you to take care of buddy for me, I love you both

Mistakes I cannot remedy.
Dan from Wisconsin
I had an affair on my wife for 3 years. I lied to her repetitivly. My wife no longer loves me, Ive got no support from family, no friends. Ive destroyed my wife, and she hates me. her kids hate me. Everyone hates me. Ive got no one and nothing to live for. I fully intend on commiting Co2 suicide in the very near future. Your site is very helpful and informative. ive got a fix for a cat. converter. leaky exhaust like the one on my intrepid? perfect. God saw fit to teach me a lesson, and Ive failed. My only regret will be the lives i have impacted so negatively. That I am truely sorry for. One last thing: Please dont do what I did to get to this point. Cherish your loved ones, and dont ever take it for ganted. thats what I did, and I now pay the ultimate price for the mistakes Ive made in life that i can not repair.

exhaust converters
Bill from USA
Please don't try suicide by vehicle exhaust. Modern cars are equipped with catyletic converters and you will most likely wind up with brain damage and still alive.

CO suicide
Mel from US
I lost my younger brother two years ago to CO poisoning. I am now trying to deal with the effects of his suicide. It is not easy. Please, please, anyone thinking of doing this, think of the people who love you, the people that will suffer so much if you go through with it. They will begin to think that they have to commit suicide to be with you. My dear brother, I wish I had your strong arms around me. I wish you were here to hold your first grandchild. She needs you. Your two sons need you. You have two beautiful granddaughters, and a grandson on the way. Why did you have to leave us? We love you. We miss you. We have all failed you. Because you are not here. I love you.

Judgmental People
Social Anxiety Disorder Sufferer
When I commit suicide, I expect I will be judged the same way as others here negatively judge those who choose to end their own pain.

To those who believe in god, do you not remember, "judge not, lest ye be judged"? After I leave this world by my own hand, if there is a god, he would be judging me for deciding to escape the pain that, for years, I fervently prayed that god would help alleviate for me, and never did.

From fantasy to reality
George from MTL
I've been depressed for a while... Now, it seems like evrything is really just falling apart. After waiting for a long time for some drunk to T-bone me while I'm driving or dropping dead from an aneurysm, I just can't really wait longer. Nothing seems like what it is in life... Got my hose, duct tape, a nice CD and my truck....

How selfish can you get!
John from Pensacola,FL
I've sat at the dinner table with my 4 kids and talked about everything you can think of including suicide over the years now their grown. There is so much help that is available to everybody. I so sad for a friend that just used CO to kill her self and never thought of any of the loved ones and friends she has hurt so badly. This act is so selfish! I just don't understand and it hurts. Most people seem happy but their deeper thoughts and planing of this is crazy! You don't see it coming at all! PLEASE GET HELP BEFORE YOU EVEN GET TO THIS POINT! Jesus loves you and cares very much!



Surfing for the answer
SA from England
When surfing for the answer of 'how best to achieve my aim', I have found the list of ways NOT to do 'IT' very helpful. God bless the WWW. I have now made my decision. I have given myself a week to get all of my affairs in order. I have chosen my nice spot in the country with a wonderful view from from the front of my car. It will all be very quiet with no fuss. It is in some way comforting to know that, by this time next week, ALL my probs will be resolved.

hopeless
Aaron from Earth usa
When I was born my mom cut my weener skin off, now I cant find a pretty girl that wants to love me, my heart hurts sadness an lonelyness crush my soul, I dont want to participate in this life, people are mean,and there is nothing here for me, no woman no job no home, Carbon monoxcide death sounds great, I just hope I dont wake up retarded

a knife in my heart
lily
if someone that i have been with for all my life,years, my 1st love, and my heart, is going thru depression and if there is no way to find a way to let him forgive my mistakes which have only been of helping me thru no money, love and his have always been so strong, he is going thru depression, he needs to heal and to see me, but he doesnt...and now has pushed me away, thrown me away, ..praying if that doesn't help, he is my heart and my life...it would be a tragedy...but he is my world and my heart, if he doesnt hear me or see me anymore, it isn't a broken heart, he is literally killing me, i can feel the knife, ..he was my 1st and only love...he has turned into somone that i don't know, and pushed me away so far....i panick and cannot breathe...i am hoping..but if nothing works...then...i won't live without him. i just want him to hear me & believe and he has shut me out, he is my heart

the master plan
my name doesn\'t matter any more from Nevada (need i say more)
duct tape. garden hose. 2 benadryl to help me sleep in the small cab of my truck after a nice drive in the country to a place with a view.
Unemployed for 3 years. Wife tells me she is sick of me and always threatening to leave. Kids have all grown and moved far away.
nothing more to add. nothing left to gain. no places left I want to see or experiences I long for.
so far I just don't have the guts to do the deed.
You get to a point where things don't make you mad any more and things that should make you glad really don't any longer. I don't even care if i see my grandkids (if I could ever get close enough, remember the kids all live far away)
The only thing that keeps me hear REALLY is that I am afraid that if I don't die of old age...I will have to come back to this spinning ball of dirt and live yet again.
Go figure

thinking about it, almost daily
malcolm from england
hi i havnt actauly gone through with this method, but feel like ive already got the effects of a failed attempt, i had my head kicked in quite badly. which i feel has made me quite forget full, find it verry hard to learn new things.split up from my ex about 2 years ago now, loved her dearly and my two beutifull boys, miss them lots.lost my job and now doing something i hate just to keep a roof over my head. how much do you need for this to actually work
and finish you off anyone no?

from one that is on his way out.
Michael from Missouri
I have read all the comments and have found an underlying theme in most of them "Why did he/she do this to us", "I feel just awful about this", "how am I going to cope", "now he acts strange (survivor of an attempt) but it is so hard to deal with it". Etc. Etc.
Very little on the pain and suffering of the one attempting suicide and almost all on the resultant discomfort of the family and survivors of the suicide. Also a lot of “he should have talked to us or mentioned something”. He probably tried to, but no one wanted to listen, no one cared. Something interesting was on reality TV at the time or, like most, it was inconvenient to get involved with someone else’s problems. Quit moaning about how the dead one caused you some inconvenience or discomfort. If any of you had really cared, you would have made an effort to do something then, or would be doing something now other than moaning about your tragic selves.

The right to die
Joe Blow from Kiss my butt usa
If this is a next to painless way to die the so be it. People with out family, money, partners, etc all have their issues.

If one way out is to end it so be it. This is also about freedom of speech.

Medicines for depression do not always work. Holiday depressive syndrome has not really made psychiatric head lines. These psy clinics can afford medications but others cannot.

God bless freedom of speech - whether verbal or a personal choice to end it. Ciao for now.

Suicide is not the way
Sad Sad MOM from Indiana
Last January my husband of 23 years attempted to end his life by CO poisoning in his car. It is amazing that he is alive today. As his wife, my life was torn part by this act. A year later I watch my husband wonder this life not even aware how distracted, distant, slow and almost retarded he is. It breaks my heart not only for him but for my two children as well. I will never know what he was thinking but the consquences of what he did will never go away. Not only does he have to live with them, but so do my children, his family and friends. If I could go back in time I would.... but I can't.

Jamie Lennon from New Zealand
Gday guys, 2 years ago I attempted suicide by way of CO poisoning in my car, luckily for me my car was equipped with a catalyic converter and being a honda had a fault with the fuel supply relay and cut out.

6 hours later in the morning i was found by surfers who then contacted the emergency department, when i was admitted to hospital i had a cohb level of 34&0x37;. I dont know how i survived really it was just pure luck. reading your site has opened my mind as to what effects such a stupid thing has had on my life since, i was 19 then, 21 now, and although I can still learn things and complete my apprenteship papers, ive noticed Im a much angryer and easily confused person than i used to be, and reality seems almost like a dream these days.

I understand what these guys have gone though and would not wish it upon anybody. If youre feeling as though life cannot get better and you want to die do not consider this option, consolodate with friends or family and tell them whats on your mind. CO poisoning is not the answer to your problems, if you survive it will just create more, and they will be with you for the rest of your life. I push people away in my life without knowing, I forget meetings with friends and even my girlfriend, I get preoccupied with things and ignore everybody, without even realising im doing it.

To the CO survivors out there, I know what its like guys, best thing we can all do is realise the effects and do our best to change them so we can live a normal life. Cheers - Jamie Lennon, 21, New Zealand, Occupation: Apprentice Mechanic and Musician.

SherryH from Australia
My father attempted suicide a few years back by putting a hose in the exhast of his car and the other end in his mouth.

We found him unconscious. He was in a coma for two months and has never recovered properly. He has so many health problems now. It's like parkinsons only worse. What can we expect?

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